I'm in a committed relationship... with my smartphone. Is technology to blame?
 |
| Photo: kaboompics.com |
Has technology made us more connected but less present? Is the time we gain from being more productive destined to our loved ones? Are we making our time with others meaningful, or are we 'multitasking' our love and attention making all of our relationships a "threesome"? (You, me …and the smartphone). Today many people seem to be having a more committed relationship with their smartphones, than their significant others. Smartphones even last longer than some relationships. For sure, they receive more undivided attention.
Technology has positively impacted our productivity and how we do stuff or where we do it. It has allowed us to be more connected. But has it? Connected to what? In the era of technology your network is more about connections than true friends, you get text-invited to a blind date or coffee; movie night is now just another Netflix marathon on the couch; your doorbell announcing that your date is here has been replaced by your smartphone reading "Downstairs babe!"; you match with someone just by swiping right and don't even get me started with sexting!
But is technology really to blame for this alienation from each other or are we just being lazy by the second, when instead of calling we'd rather text? (Think about it: how many phone calls did you get for your birthday? How many texts? While I understand that phone calls are a thing from the past, something some of us almost find invasive, the trend shows that soon we won't require words even. Why talk or write when we have…. emojis! (I know they are here to stay when my mom uses them to answer my texts!! 😱 )
Someone recently said that technology has facilitated "asynchronic conversations". Has it? I agree on the asynchronic part. But "conversations"? I think we are not having conversations at all! It is hard enough when talking..now add technology and small screen to the equation. SMS, Snap, WhatsApp...you name it...for me it's all about digital small talk. That, and "Like us", "share" or "comment" has nothing of conversation in it. It has words; it has thoughts portraying emotions (or reactions as Facebook calls them). It has me...it has someone else on the receiving end (or maybe several "others"), but it lacks true conversation. We are communicating, expressing. Not through conversation though. And yet, technology is the means…
We can't avoid linking “social” with “technology”. Yet, being social today has nothing to do with having conversations with others. It’s about having conversations with yourself. Telling yourself a story. A story you like and would like others to like. And while we develop – yes, with the help of technology- our life's storyboard for others to see (and like), we forget to "see" the relationships that give true meaning to our life. And that “seeing”, looking up from our screens and into other people’s eyes while listening with intent, being in the moment and really connecting… it has nothing to do with technology.... it has to do with ourselves and the person we are when we are not alone.
xoxo.✔✔
PS. A shout-out to those friends & loved ones who honored our relationship by choosing to hit the "voice call" button on WhatsApp instead of "type & send" on my birthday last month. Those are unique moments as I can hear my smartphone talking back to me, with love.
May the "voice call" button and Facetime app live forever. 🙏
Comments